I have a dad that is in the broad scheme of things a pretty awesome dad, but a lot of the time he bugs me because he's a bit of a control freak and that has messed around with important parts of my life before. I don't entirely know what all of it is that I dislike, there's just a lot of memories I have with him that turned out really sad or angry or traumatizing or whatever for me. I don't really even think he meant for me to feel that way 99% of the time, and I think he doesn't realize it makes me feel that way about at least 80% of the time.
Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but I feel like I can't be myself around him because he'll look down on it or something.
Today, he woke me up from a nap I've gotten into the habit of taking after Sunday lunch to have me help him transport a patio set from a warehouse to our house.
Long story short, after a few trips, and a bout of disassembling the table frame because it wouldn't fit in the back of the U-Haul truck we rented, we were done bringing everything back home. Dad was about to take the U-Haul truck back, and I threw him the keys to the truck that he had left on the porch. As I turned around to head back inside, he said, "Thanks for your help John."
Just that. "Thanks for your help John."
Really, that's not such a big thank you. It's not like I saved his life or anything. It was different for me though, because it told me that he didn't think me helping was something a son does just because a dad asks. It said "We were equals on this, partners, and I'm glad you decided to help me when I asked." It was like I wasn't being treated like a little kid; I was a man, and I would be thanked like one.
Just like all those times I had problems with my dad and he didn't realize what he had done, I doubt he knows what he did this time. It may not have been much, especially not to him, but today he's helped me become just a little bit closer to dropping my hidden grudge and forgiving him.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Another work story
Today you all get to know facts 3 and 4 about me. I have a little brother. My little brother works at the movie theatre with me (but I get paid more than him, because I've been there longer).
Today, he was working as checker. For those not in the lingo, a checker is the guy that makes sure the movies are running right and that no one is breaking the rules or being a nuisance in the theatre. Our checkers are allowed to dress in regular clothes and sit down in the theatres, so as to better spy on the people we're watching.
So he goes into the theatre we have the Harry Potter movie in, and sits down in the closest seat he can find. Later, he gets up, and his butt feels wet. He gets some of it on his hand and sniffs it, and what does he smell?
Urine.
Someone pissed in their seat, and just moved and didn't tell anyone. How do you manage to pull that off? He/she didn't even attempt to clean up after their mess at all! Why would you do that?
My brother got to go home, shower, and get into some new clothes while still on the clock. That's at least one good thing of this. I've never gotten paid to take a shower, I'm jealous.
Today, he was working as checker. For those not in the lingo, a checker is the guy that makes sure the movies are running right and that no one is breaking the rules or being a nuisance in the theatre. Our checkers are allowed to dress in regular clothes and sit down in the theatres, so as to better spy on the people we're watching.
So he goes into the theatre we have the Harry Potter movie in, and sits down in the closest seat he can find. Later, he gets up, and his butt feels wet. He gets some of it on his hand and sniffs it, and what does he smell?
Urine.
Someone pissed in their seat, and just moved and didn't tell anyone. How do you manage to pull that off? He/she didn't even attempt to clean up after their mess at all! Why would you do that?
My brother got to go home, shower, and get into some new clothes while still on the clock. That's at least one good thing of this. I've never gotten paid to take a shower, I'm jealous.
Movie Theatre Issues
Today we are introduced to fact number two about me: I work at a movie theatre during the summer and school breaks (fact one was my name, listed at the bottom of every entry).
Anyways, tonight I was working at the movie theatre on door (that's the ticket-taker, for those of you not in the lingo). Later in the night, at around 9:15-ish or so, some young teenage kid jokes with me that he was given a free trial to the theatre, and that he's allowed to go in for free. I played along and told him that was all right, but he had to take it up with the box people to get a ticket for me to rip. He said he was kidding and left.
He came back a bit later and said "Here's my free ticket," and tried to put a dollar into my hand. Instinctively, I jerked away in surprise and said "no, man." I thought for an instant, then said "Which movie do you want to go see?" He told me Chuck and Larry. I looked down at my time sheet, and I saw it was already an hour into the movie. They had missed a lot of the movie, almost half of it. "Heck, just go on back if you want to see it."
Surprised, the boy turned, and got his friend who had been hiding behind a Dippin' Dots machine in front of me. I let them both go, but I at least made them throw out the outside drinks they had before I let them go back.
Later in the night, two older guys asked about going in for free, saying that one of the other employees had said I would hook them up. The guy they were talking about was a good kid, and when I found out they wanted to see Harry Potter instead of Simpsons like I expected, I was relieved. Harry Potter would accommodate extra people much better than the packed Simpsons theatres. I told them they could go in, and they left to get two more people, a cousin and a friend to bring in, for a total of four.
Now, was all of this really so bad? The first two kids couldn't have bought tickets even if they had tried, the movies fall out of the ticket purchasing system 45 minutes after the start of the movie. There should have been a copy of Chuck and Larry running when they came, but it was cancelled due to "technical difficulties." In reality, it was cancelled so the Simpsons movie could be interlocked in that theatre, doubling the number of tickets we could sell for that movie. The kids thanked me, when they went in and when they came out after it ended. The other people were friends with one of my friends. I've thrown my weight around to help my friends at work. Just the night before, I had switched my friends from the crowded Simpsons theatre to the almost empty Simpsons theatre so they could get a better seat that wasn't right in front of the movie screen. My head manager had been being a bit of a pain to everyone that day, so maybe it was just revenge too. However, I didn't think of all of this at the time. I just thought "Ah hell, why not?"
I think the very fact that I have to try to think of revenge to justify my actions shows that it wasn't the best choice. I don't know if I'm really sorry about that though. I think I'd do the same thing again. I know it wasn't too good, but the bad I do seems like it's outweighed by the enjoyment I'm letting others have.
In any case, I have to be back at work in less than 6 hours. I think the lack of sleep might be punishment enough for what I did.
Anyways, tonight I was working at the movie theatre on door (that's the ticket-taker, for those of you not in the lingo). Later in the night, at around 9:15-ish or so, some young teenage kid jokes with me that he was given a free trial to the theatre, and that he's allowed to go in for free. I played along and told him that was all right, but he had to take it up with the box people to get a ticket for me to rip. He said he was kidding and left.
He came back a bit later and said "Here's my free ticket," and tried to put a dollar into my hand. Instinctively, I jerked away in surprise and said "no, man." I thought for an instant, then said "Which movie do you want to go see?" He told me Chuck and Larry. I looked down at my time sheet, and I saw it was already an hour into the movie. They had missed a lot of the movie, almost half of it. "Heck, just go on back if you want to see it."
Surprised, the boy turned, and got his friend who had been hiding behind a Dippin' Dots machine in front of me. I let them both go, but I at least made them throw out the outside drinks they had before I let them go back.
Later in the night, two older guys asked about going in for free, saying that one of the other employees had said I would hook them up. The guy they were talking about was a good kid, and when I found out they wanted to see Harry Potter instead of Simpsons like I expected, I was relieved. Harry Potter would accommodate extra people much better than the packed Simpsons theatres. I told them they could go in, and they left to get two more people, a cousin and a friend to bring in, for a total of four.
Now, was all of this really so bad? The first two kids couldn't have bought tickets even if they had tried, the movies fall out of the ticket purchasing system 45 minutes after the start of the movie. There should have been a copy of Chuck and Larry running when they came, but it was cancelled due to "technical difficulties." In reality, it was cancelled so the Simpsons movie could be interlocked in that theatre, doubling the number of tickets we could sell for that movie. The kids thanked me, when they went in and when they came out after it ended. The other people were friends with one of my friends. I've thrown my weight around to help my friends at work. Just the night before, I had switched my friends from the crowded Simpsons theatre to the almost empty Simpsons theatre so they could get a better seat that wasn't right in front of the movie screen. My head manager had been being a bit of a pain to everyone that day, so maybe it was just revenge too. However, I didn't think of all of this at the time. I just thought "Ah hell, why not?"
I think the very fact that I have to try to think of revenge to justify my actions shows that it wasn't the best choice. I don't know if I'm really sorry about that though. I think I'd do the same thing again. I know it wasn't too good, but the bad I do seems like it's outweighed by the enjoyment I'm letting others have.
In any case, I have to be back at work in less than 6 hours. I think the lack of sleep might be punishment enough for what I did.
Friday, July 27, 2007
What is this all about?
Who has a blog entitled "Forgiveness?" Well, I do for the time being. I was having a bit of a personal reflection crisis a few days back, and I realized I couldn't forgive myself for certain things. I know God would forgive me, and other people might do it too, but for the time being, I couldn't just let go what I had done.
I thought to myself about it, and I can't remember all that I was thinking about, but I do remember wondering if other people feel the same way. So in my little computer nerd mind, the best idea I had was to make a blog. About forgiveness.
Really, I hadn't given the idea much thought past that. What would I do with this blog? Would I be forgiving myself of something in every entry? Would other people submit things they're sorry about? How often would I be able to write in here?
These are all things I still must figure out, but I really just felt that people need to feel forgiven. People need to forgive. There's too many grudges and too much bad blood between people in the world. Hell, most of the fighting in the Gaza strip seems to me to be getting to the point of "Well, somebody bombed us, so we should go bomb some of them." Both sides are too hard-headed or too angry to actually talk to the other side and try to work out peace. Nobody wants to die. All we need is a bit of forgiveness and understanding.
Somehow this "I don't know what I'm doing" post actually got somewhat of a purpose. Will I be able to be this lucky every day? I doubt it. I need to work out some ideas. So, I would like to apologize to you, my audience, because I have no idea what I am doing. I hope you can forgive me.
I thought to myself about it, and I can't remember all that I was thinking about, but I do remember wondering if other people feel the same way. So in my little computer nerd mind, the best idea I had was to make a blog. About forgiveness.
Really, I hadn't given the idea much thought past that. What would I do with this blog? Would I be forgiving myself of something in every entry? Would other people submit things they're sorry about? How often would I be able to write in here?
These are all things I still must figure out, but I really just felt that people need to feel forgiven. People need to forgive. There's too many grudges and too much bad blood between people in the world. Hell, most of the fighting in the Gaza strip seems to me to be getting to the point of "Well, somebody bombed us, so we should go bomb some of them." Both sides are too hard-headed or too angry to actually talk to the other side and try to work out peace. Nobody wants to die. All we need is a bit of forgiveness and understanding.
Somehow this "I don't know what I'm doing" post actually got somewhat of a purpose. Will I be able to be this lucky every day? I doubt it. I need to work out some ideas. So, I would like to apologize to you, my audience, because I have no idea what I am doing. I hope you can forgive me.
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