I have a problem that luckily enough, I haven't had to deal with for the past two months or so, but going to mass tonight, it got really bad. I was trying to fight off tears during mass, and I was trying to make sure I didn't look like anything was wrong with me. During my quiet time after receiving communion, I was praying to God to help me with what was going on.
Walking home from mass, I was just trying to keep from having a panic attack. I breathed through the fabric of my shirt once or twice to slow down some hyperventilation. My plan pretty much was just to go to sleep and try to cry into my corner without my roommate hearing or noticing me, if he was even there.
I got back to my room, and there were like, nine people in it, 6 of them girls. My roommate was pregaming, and I got convinced to go along with them. We went to a frat, and while I'm not really a frat kind of guy, I had a pretty good time just hanging out, getting less awkward with my roommate, and being a good wingman to all of the people in our group, guys and girls alike.
Right now, maybe it's just from a little bit of alcohol still floating around in my system, but I feel so much better. I don't know if it was just letting off steam or something else, but somehow, it's like my prayers were answered. Through drinking and partying.
Weird.
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