One of the movies that I really like is I Heart Huckabees. It is one of those movies that makes you think and touches you on the inside in ways that you don't quite understand. I love it, but the first time watching it, my dad watched for about a half an hour, then decided he couldn't take all of the weirdness of the movie. It's not a movie for everyone, that's for sure.
One of the parts that I like the most is when the two existential detectives are asking the "bad" guy about how he feels about himself, and he simply yells "How am I not myself?" The two detectives say the question aloud and the bad guy repeats himself so they're clear. "How am I not myself?" They say nothing but this, and start looking at each other confusedly. The bad guy leaves, and as he's being asked questions and given memos in his workplace, the only thing that keeps running through his head is "How am I not myself?" This leads to the first part of his breakdown.
At the end of the movies, after the credits are done rolling, the question, "How am I not myself?" appears on the screen. It made me think about myself and finding the true me. I once wrote a personal reflection on that question and the book "The Game." Today, I'm doing something different with it.
Everyone wants to figure out who they are, including myself. For as long as I can keep thinking of things, I'm going to try to figure out what I am not. Maybe if I stop all of the things that I know are not part of the real me, I'll be left with only the right things for me to do. I can only hope to be so lucky.
How am I not myself?
I am not myself when I take advantage of girls' feelings for me to get them to do sexual things with me.
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3 comments:
John, thanks for coming by "The Beach" this evening. Looking forward to hopefully more visits from you down the road.
I appreciate the tone and honesty from your posts since you've started blogging. You're right, there needs to be more forgiveness in this world, and it starts with each of us asking for forgiveness for the things we've done wrong.
I have had to deal with forgiving some people that have hurt me in recent years, and it was only in the past few weeks that I was really able to trust God to help me truly and deeply forgive.
Dang John. I'll have to start taking lessons from you about this stuff. I'm all over the place and I know i need to figure out "How Am I Not Myself?"
Wow...good concept. I've seen that movie a couple of times, but that scene has never really got me like that. And like madammandy...I have to figure out "How Am I Not Myself?"
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